Behavioural issues among Children

Easily recognizable behavioral issues that can help parents identify their child’s problem could be the child not eating properly, playing too much, not studying, not listening to the elders, demanding and throwing a tantrum or watching too much TV.

Whatever the nature of the problem there are certain principles which can help:

• Cooperation
• Clarity
• Communication consistency
• Counselling

Parenting a child is a responsibility of the whole family, not just parents.

I have seen that, if there is even one person in the family, who has different views about child rearing, then the job gets difficult. There are families, one where the grandfather has health issues if the grandchild is shouted at and another in which the grandmother would threaten to leave the house if the grandchild is punished!

Such environments are more harmful for child’s mindset, as two totally different views are imparted to child’s knowledge. Thus, family members have to cooperate and decide on a common view for a whole-time job of parenting.

This can be done essentially by maintaining clarity of the rules in the family and following its implementation. All the family members should literally decide on a Do’s and Don’ts rule list. For eg. remaining awake and watching TV would be ok on Saturdays but not on other days.

It is recommended for parents to maintain some set of rules like, arguing with elders is not allowed in the house, this helps the child create rules for him/herself which guides credible thinking.

The basis for solving any problem is communication.

Communication forms the foundation for any relationship. Good communication is about listening carefully and talking less. It is about being precise, not comparing, no name calling etc. Parents need to lean the “Art of Listening” so as to understand their child. There should be consistency in the behaviour of the parents, being lenient one day and strict on the other can send wrong signals to the child.

Counseling can help, especially if nothing else does. Parents should spend good amount of time with their children and by using general communication try to find out their child’s personality traits, some examples are as follows:

• Check if your child’s expectations are appropriate as per age and understanding.
• Check the behaviour by punishing the child. Punishment here does not mean physical punishment at all, but small tests like, not giving the thing your child is craving for, observe their reactions in such situations and then deal accordingly.
• Check, have you, unintentional, lead your child to a pattern of behaviour which has now become problematic? Like for example, Parents let their children play with mobile phones to keep them occupied and then sometimes end up complaining about their over use the gadget.
• Check whether your behavior is appropriate? Remember, children watch their parents and replicate those. If you watch TV or use mobile all the time and want the child to not to do so, then the results are hard to come.

About the Author

Dr. Dushyant Bhadlikar
Psychiatrist
SRV Mamata Hospital